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Elvis Has Left the Oil Patch

Okay GreaseBookers, I know that most of us love our dogs.

Since I have been in the oilfield, I have met only one person who did not like a dog in a pumping truck. It happens to be the man I pump for now – although unless there is a large rain (not likely where I live) I usually use my own pickup. There’s a story that goes with this…and you will hear it later in this blog.

The point is while there are many liabilities to being a pumper, including people thinking we just drive around taking meter readings and that we are fundamentally dumb, there is at least one benefit to the job aside from a decent paycheck. Many times the company allows us to take our dog with us pumping.

Elvis Has Left the Oil Patch

For me, this particular benefit fell into the top three benefits of the job as a full-time company pumper. I mean, let’s face it; where else can you go to work where you can take your best four-legged friend with you? Also, where else can you avoid having to work with people most of the day? But that’s another column isn’t it?

All that said, I learned in the first year of my life as a pumper working in Perryton for Chaparral Energy, this freedom to take my dog also held its liabilities. And I am not alone in that discovery. Most of my pumper friends who toted a dog along also discovered these problems.

My best friend, Evelyn discovered the hard way several times what it means to carry a pet along on the work day. And just a note here, in her 38 years in the oilfield she has been known to carry everything from a pet raccoon to a pet bobcat, two German Shepherds at separate times, a Pitbull cross, two Blue Heelers at separate times and now a ginormous Mastiff named Giget and a whiney, neurotic Blue Heeler named Norman who has an anxiety disorder.

I, on the other hand, had one pumping dog. Her name was Nipper. She was a Cairn Terrier and I soon began referring to her as a “terrierist” because she literally terrorized me at times.

Nipper liked to find long dead animals and eat them and then puke it all up into the console of my pickup. She also found a pile of fresh, human poo after a work-over rig had been on one of my wells and rolled in it.  People who don’t know what a Wheaten Cairn Terrier looks like, they have very long, blond hair.

So the day I allowed Nipper to ride with me in my current boss’s brand, spanking new pickup (about three years ago) I didn’t realize what kind of a day it was going to be. The whole reason I took his truck was that he was out of town on a vacation and the lease roads were muddy. My truck, Ol’ Greenie, doesn’t have four wheel drive, see. So sensing a good day, Nipper bailed into my Boss’ 2014 (with velour seats…I know…go figure).

Anyhoo, everything was fine but that particular route is really uppy-downy. Lots of hills. And so Nipper got sick and puked in the console and on the seats before I could say Jack Sprat. Before he came home I cleaned and cleaned. I felt that his pickup was better than when he bought it when I left it in his drive, ready for him to start his next working day.

He called me on the phone around 10 a.m. I answered, confident that he was just asking about his wells. “Hello?”

“I found a long, blond hair in this truck. Did you have your dog in here?”

“No! Of course I didn’t,” said I. “Where’d this hair come from,” he asked.

“Well, the truth is, one of my best friends wanted to go and watch me pump and she has long, blond hair. I sure hope you don’t mind,” said I.

“Well, as long as they don’t get out at the well site,” he said.

Later that month, he took me to show me a couple of new wells he had acquired. He stared into my face. “What was your friend’s name?”

“What friend?”

“The one who left the long hair in my truck.”

“Uh…N…N…Nancy?”

“It was your dog wasn’t it?”

“I was biting my hand by now and I looked at him guiltily and nodded.”

“I knew it.” He just laughed and told me not to do it again.

Since then he’s purchased another new pickup. Oddly, I haven’t ever been in his pickups since. Even in the mud, he lets me take Greenie. Hmmmm. I wonder why?

 

GreaseBookers, this has been a tough year for everyone. In Northwestern Oklahoma, pumpers, farmers, residents – we have all struggled to push through not one but two disasters. First we had an epic ice storm that kept many well sites inoperable for more than one month and then we have had one of the single most devastating fires in history in my area. We have lost more than 1 million acres up here and easily over 1,000 cattle. There has also been damage to oilfield assets and again, the power has been affected. Ranchers have, in some cases, lost their entire businesses. It will be a tense and heartbreaking year ahead for these people.

So I felt I would write a little something that just took our minds off of the awfulness for a moment. And to that end, I decided writing about our love of living things seemed appropriate, given the tragedy we have suffered of late.

Those of us who haul our dogs with us pumping, know what a comfort they can be when the days get long.

But I digress. When I met my best friend Evelyn, she told me of some of her pet hauling disasters and yet for some reason I failed to take her seriously when I got into the business. I had to learn on my own I guess.

Principal among her animals was Elvis, her most beloved dog – a beautiful German Shepherd. In a flash one day Elvis chased a rabbit under the weights of a pumping unit and was badly injured when the weights came down and crushed his hip.

He lived through that accident though, with a combination of effort from me and Evelyn, each hauling him back and forth to the vet for treatment.

For several years after that Elvis trotted behind Evelyn everywhere she went on the location.

I took him with me a time or two and I can still hear the gentle thud, thud, thud of his feet falling in the dry Oklahoma dust behind me. And there was the cadence of his panting, huh, huh, huh, huh, right beside me as well, as I worked on my own locations.

For some reason, I never felt alone with him around. The other benefit of having Elvis around was that he was my dog Nipper’s only true friend. Nipper had some sort of mental disorder and she hated everyone but Elvis. In fact, Nipper was so in love with Elvis that when she would bolt from me and be running, totally out of control down the lease road after a coyote or rabbit, the only thing I could holler was “Elvis” to get her back. When she heard his name, she would come screeching to a halt and turn around and come back because she thought he must be here or I wouldn’t be calling him.

Just a note here, this only worked about three times before she realized what a liar I was.

Anyhoo, Elvis was like having a human being with you. He would look at you with his golden eyes and tilt his head when you talked to him. I expected him to say in English, “And then what happened?”

If Elvis wanted you to notice something he felt was important on the location, he would come over and place his huge front paw on your arm and pull at you to follow him.

But most notably, Elvis loved to play the game Hide-and-go-Seek. I’m not kidding.

This is how this went. I would set him down with his back to me somewhere and tell him to stay and I would go find a place to hide really well. Then I would call and tell him to find me. And he would look and look until he’d find me. When he did, he would be so excited and I would laugh that kind of laugh you only have when you are really having fun.

Elvis and Evelyn were inseparable. Since the loss of her husband Wayne in 2005, Elvis had become her helper – her confidant. He was whose furry neck she cried into when the people in Evelyn’s life had grown weary of her grieving for her husband of 24 years. Elvis understood, there is no real time limit for deep grief.

In the evenings, after a full day of seeing oil wells, Elvis was who would gladly run around in the house, playing Hide-and-go-Seek with her too. The two would put on a country music CD and Elvis, who was as tall as Evelyn when he stood on his hind legs, would stand up and the two would dance like crazy.

Elvis had a cat too. Her name was Savanna. Savannah slept literally in the leigh of Elvis’ neck, where his jaw met his neck.

It was Thanksgiving of 2013 and I was pumping wells but Evelyn had left to go see family. Earlier that day she told me Elvis wasn’t feeling good and would I go to her house and check on him . He had just thrown up a couple of times and while that didn’t seem too odd for dogs that sometimes eat myriad dead animals while working with us, it still concerned her.

When I got there, I could see right away, something was terribly wrong. Elvis was standing, leaning forward and could hardly move. He wouldn’t even look up at me. I could sit down, he couldn’t lay down. He was in misery.

I called her and told her, he had gotten much worse. She dropped what she was doing and made the nearly two hour drive back and rushed him to the vet.

The day after Thanksgiving, Elvis died. We are not sure what killed him and we will never know. We fear he might have gotten into someone’s garage and possibly drank some coolant.

He was so well loved that several people in the community came out for his little burial service. I brought his best friend, my dog Nipper who was pretty upset. She went to see her friend’s body and sat next to him and shook uncontrollably.  As much as I try, I can’t unsee that. Nipper was never the same after that. Something was just wrong with her and she ended up dying a year later.

And as we all said our goodbyes to Elvis that day, one thing was so clear.

The oilfield industry out here in the Panhandle was somehow indelibly changed that day and was the worse off for it.

Because, Elvis had left the oil patch.

~ Rachael Van Horn aka “Wench with a Wrench”

How CAN we guarantee you a 6% lift in profit margin in 6 weeks*?

ALLOW US TO STIMULATE YOUR GREED GLAND

*PLEASE NOTE: 6% is the AVERAGE result of producers who implement the app into their operations..... which means a full HALF of our clients do better 🤑

Centralized Repository

Get full production history, well files, commentary and the like in the hands of the people who need it (when they need it) and enable everyone in the field or office to do their best work.

Reduced Overhead

The height of cultivation runs to simplicity. With Greasebook, streamline your operations, automate back-office tasks all while eliminating any excess operational drag ❌ ⚙️

Reduced Downtime through Alerts

Gain timely detection of equipment malfunctions or other operational issues and prevent costly breakdowns. With Greasebook, alert your in-house team to issues in the field wherever they're at.

Increased Production

Catch a hole in the tubing or an engine issue immediately when a well begins to slip (not several weeks later when your purchaser statements come in…) 💸 Greasebook is the next best thing to 'sitting shotgun' with each pumper on every route. And because you'll have complete visibility of your assets and your field crew, you'll not only avoid significant expenses associated with repairs and oversights but you'll also produce more oil because of it.

Timely Reports

Weekly, monthly, or missed reports simply don’t cut it. Why? Because longer reporting intervals increase the risk of inaccuracies and discrepancies in your production data, which not only erodes trust in the reported figures but also makes it challenging to analyze trends or forecast future production 📉 With Greasebook, eliminate any excuse NOT to have your production data.

Full Accountability

Gain full transparency of your folks in the field and eliminate boiler housed reports and ‘Kitchen Table Pumping’ for good 🍳

Focus

From one-off wells to lengthy routes, no matter what form your pumping takes, GreaseBook keeps your pumpers focused on moving those production updates from field to office.

Gather

Easily gather everything that matters. Track tank levels, capture notes, administer well tests, submit photos of scanned run tickets. All from the field. All on your mobile device. All over the cellular network.

Connect

Connect with the people who help you get it all done. Communicate, collaborate, and share in real-time with your guys and gals in the field without ever leaving the GreaseBook.

Access

Access fast, accurate gauge sheets. No need to re-key production or manipulate Excel. Just one click and your production is organized into a beautiful screen-friendly layout.

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Everything in one place

The central place for everyone’s work. All the relevant content from well history to run ticket images, easily accessed.

Get paid your due

Compare a month's worth of oil sales tickets vs purchaser statements vs payments received (and find those inconsistencies!) in just seconds.

Knowledge discovery

GreaseBook acts as your operations watchdog, surfacing any unexpected drops in production, unplanned downtime, or incompetence in the oilfield.

Share Responsibility

Production data syncs across all pumpers who share the responsibility of a particular lease. That means no more calling, no more meeting up to trade-off books, and no more miscommunication.

Mobile Sync

Automatic sync means your production status is available the minute your pumper returns to coverage.

Offline Access

Pumpers retain access to historical production by making their work available even when a connection isn’t.

Guarantee

If you don’t TRIPLE your money in the form of profits from downtime reduction, increased production, lower overhead, and/or reduced time and redundancies in the back office during your 60 day trial – we’ll DOUBLE the amount money you paid for the app.

Voted New Technology Development of the Year.

57000449
bbls pumped to date
50106001
MCF flowed to date

Simple 8-minute Ramp Up

Average time to learn? 8 minutes (and yes, this goes for those pumpers who are 75 years old still tending wells…)

Custom Reports

Select one of our premade reports or build your own.

Alarm Alerts

Whether it’s a full tank or well is offline, we’ll text or email anyone you want if there’s an issue.

Production Graphs

See the big picture with beautiful production displays which render perfectly on any device.

Field Data Collection

Enter run tickets, BS&W draws, water hauls, track dual product tanks, conduct well tests all via the Greasebook. Now, your real-time monitoring shows right alongside those manual pumper gauges.

Comments

Real-time production is worthless if you don’t have the contextual information to complement it. Tag or search pumper comments by lease, well, or injector/SWD – letting the whole team know precisely what’s going on in the field.

Well Testing and Allocation Engine

Robust well testing and allocation engines to satisfy even the most complex gathering system.

Downtime Tracker

Which wells are down? How long they been down for? Why are they down? Now, you’ll know at a moment’s glance.

State & Government Auto-Report Filer

Yes, you read that right. We’ll produce your State and Government production reports enabling your back office to catch their breath.

Scheduled Reports

Want a report with your coffee every morning at 5AM? Got a WI partner who won’t quit calling to ‘get the numbers’? Set’em up on an automated report and watch the daily minutiae disappear.

Well History Files

A single place for your downhole and surface equipment PDFs, Word Docs, and the like – accessible in both the field and office.

Pumper GPS Tracker

Wanna know how many times your pumper is showing up each month? When was the last time someone set foot on a particular lease? No more “he said, she said” – with GPS tracker, now you’ll know the full story.

Custom Variables

Track any variable at any lease no matter how obscure.

Custom Logic

Components of a production system don’t operate in a vacuum. We make complex math simple so you can focus on analysis NOT spreadsheet jockeying.

Partner/Investor Permissions

Maintain transparency by giving special partners and investors access to their production (and ONLY their production!)

Read-Only Permissions

Giving certain users the ability to ‘look but don’t touch’.

Privacy and security. Keep what’s private pri****.

Bring the most advanced security of any device to your operations. The GreaseBook comes with built-in protections against malware and viruses, and given our open API it gives you the freedom to choose what you share and how you share it. So no matter what you’re doing (or where you’re doing it), GreaseBook helps your private information stay that way.

(just a few of) the products we integrate with

GREASEBOOK INTEGRATIONS

“If you’re unsatisfied for any reason during your 6-week trial, we'll either work with you until it's right or refund 200% of what you paid for the app. How can we do this? We're just that good. But don't take it from me. Check out what our clients are saying below......"
Greg Archbald
Perpetual Student of the Oilfield
Founder of GreaseBook
FEAST YOUR EYES, NON-BELIEVERS 👀👇

VERIFIED REVIEWS BY OUR CUSTOMERS

Ask us anything

F.A.Q.

Not really. Simply share with us your Excel reports, paper gauge sheets, or the login to your existing legacy production software and we’ll take care of the rest.

Our petroleum engineers turn-key your entire setup, we’ll reach out once we’re done. Bada bing.

You’re right. And, because no one leaves their house without their phone (and because our app works offline), we eliminate any excuse for your pumpers NOT to send you their data. See, we told you this would be easy.

In addition to both Android and Apple smartphones, the Greasebook also works on any tablet, laptop, or desktop.

While Greasebook has been implemented in many of the country’s largest publicly traded production companies operating thousands of wells, Greasebook is focused on serving the small and mid-sized independent US-based oil & gas operators.

Anywhere, anytime, on any device (phone, tablet, desktop or laptop).

The beauty of the app is once your pumpers start submitting their production via the Greasebook – anyone on your team can access production reports, graphs and well files from any device at any time.

It’s sorta like a centralized place from which everyone on your team can work, without all the calls, text messages and emails that would go on otherwise.

Absolutely. As your pumpers continue to add tickets, comments, pressures, well tests and any other relevant information, your investors will have guest access to as much (or as little) information as you’d like.

Of course, they’ll only see production info for the wells in which they participate.

Oil & gas companies who run Legacy oil and gas software systems expose themselves to major risks (and minor annoyances…)

The complexity of traditional oil & gas production systems is twofold:

  1. Software Problem: Legacy software systems are expensive, outdated, clunky and have extremely complex interfaces. In fact, because of all the support and manual interventions required, continuing to use outdated software can often be more costly than simply upgrading.
  2. People Problem: Legacy software systems take an enormous amount of time to familiarize oneself with. And, anytime an employee quits, retires, or is let go the amount of training required for new employees can be significantly higher than for newer, more user-friendly software.

 

This is a lose/lose. What’s more, given all the set-up fees, training fees, support fees and the like the projected ‘savings’ never materialize and now your forced to contend with fluctuating hydrocarbon prices AND a bloated monthly OPEX.

Talk about getting stuck in the muck!

With Greasebook, office users are 99% proficient with the platform in about 20 minutes.

Within 2 seconds – FROM YOUR SMARTPHONE – you’ll have your answer to any question regarding production, allocations, performance, well history files, commentary, run ticket reconciliation, Custom Reports, State reports, and more – all sliced and diced and customized at the Company, Operator, Battery, Well, State, County, Section, Township, Range, Acquisition, or even Supervisor level…

We’ve been at this for awhile. Greasebook was established in 2012 and now supports more than 400+ oil and gas operators (small ma & pops and publicly traded companies alike) across 20 States and is the fastest growing production software in the patch.

The Greasebook corporate outpost is proudly located in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 🤠📍

The Greasebook helpdesk is staffed by Petroleum Engineers, Geologists, and Completions Experts Monday through Friday, 8AM to 5PM CST. 

We have a real-time chat through which most questions are answered in 2 minutes or less.

Naturally, some questions are more complex and you’ll want to speak to someone over the phone. In this case, we aim to complete all callbacks within two hours of scheduling.👌

Of course, your Dashboard and Reports are available to you 24/7.

We don’t blame them.

Pumpers have been burned by Legacy Production Systems in the past. 😵

However, given how much upside you stand to gain in the form of time savings and profit, DO NOT make the mistake of letting the tail wag the dog, folks!! 💸

Real talk: the average pumper takes about 8 minutes to learn Greasebook (and that goes for guys in their 80s still tending wells…)

Give us two days and we’ll make believers out of your entire pumping crew….

Still not convinced? Check out Greasebook’s “Pumper Wall of Love” by clicking here and let the pumpers tell you themselves 😘

Let us help you help yourself. Simply send us your existing production info, and we’ll assign a production engineer to turn-key your entire setup for you.

We’ll build your wells, your tank straps, your users and anything else you require.

Finally, once everything has been reviewed by your team, we’ll roll out your pumpers and either train them for you or with you while you focus on more important stuff.

That’s not a question, but actually no.

The average pumper demands anywhere from $125 to $400 per month.

And depending on what you require, Greasebook is priced anywhere from $5-15 well/mo.

So, given how much more you’ll get out of your pumpers, how much we’ll streamline your operations, and how quickly we’ll get this all done for you, we’re actually kind of a bargain.

Our guarantee is two-pronged…

First, run the app for full 6 weeks in your operations. If you’re not completely satisfied, let us know and we’ll DOUBLE your money back.

Second, if for any reason you’d like your money back in first 30 days after paying simply let us know and it’s yours. 🤝

However, if you’re anything like our other 400+ operators you’ll be wondering why you didn’t do this 6 months ago…

We’re ready when you are. Take the quiz and schedule a call here – depending how many operators we have in front of you, there’s a chance we can get you up and running by the end of next week.

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