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Oilfield Pumper Etiquette: Testing one’s manhood with the Fairbanks 503 “slave master”

Okay so, when my dad starts a project, there is no lunch, no water, no anything until we have finished the job. I feel certain it is today, why I am always the last pumper in the field – and the dirtiest.

So anyway, it was a long time ago – a hot summer in Oklahoma and we had been suffering for some time without rain. I was about 16-years-old (I’m 54 now) and my dad woke me early on a Saturday morning. We were building fence.

On this day, we were digging post holes with a two-man auger he had proudly purchased at an estate sale. You know the kind; a man and a woman in this case, on each side of it holding it steady as it grinds its way into the ground.

So the digging began and the work was grueling. The Oklahoma red dirt was packed hard – I mean land a C-5 cargo jet on it hard or tear up a Tri Cone Drill Bit hard. You get the picture.

Anyway through the day, the holes were getting dug. However, I had noticed that when my dad stopped that auger he had to push a wrench that had a rubber handle on it onto the spark plug. I really hadn’t noticed it much up to about 4 p.m. I was hot, I was thinking about going out that night with my boyfriend Roger and I didn’t much care about how he had rigged that damned auger to stop.

And then it happened…

We had started on another hole – the last one for the day. The dirt seemed even harder and it just felt like that auger was spinning around, bouncing on concrete. All of a sudden, it hit a rock and bounced out of the hole.

It was still grinding full speed (the speed lever was also broken) and it started augering up my father’s leg. It was like a dragon chewing him up. I had to do something! I had to act! I just knew it was going to auger my father in half if I didn’t!

And so I did it. I just grabbed a hold of that spark plug with my whole hand. The current coursed through my hand and up to my shoulder. But that bit of insanity worked and the auger died.

I was bending over holding my arm and I looked up at my father, who was bleeding but not profusely. His plants were down around his ankles. He was wearing boxers with pink flamingos on a grey background. I’m sorry but I just can’t unsee that.

He pulled his pants up and laughed. I said, ‘Oh, you thought that was funny huh?”

He said, “You should have seen the look on your face when you grabbed that spark plug.”

I said, “Yeah, nice stop-switch dad. What’s wrong with it?”

He said, “I don’t know. It’s just broke.”

This week, in that wondermous blogosphere on Greasebook.com, read and enjoy the “It’s Broke” edition – Great stories about people in the oilfield who found themselves with equipment they couldn’t diagnose, yet found work-arounds to keep it running.

Now, when Greasebook reached out to me and asked me write some material for pumper and oilfield executives, they thought it’d be a wonderful idea to work and write from the “Lease Pumper’s Handbook” – expanding on the topics contained within the text and throwing in color and insight where necessary.

The handbook is a guide put together by the Oklahoma Marginal Well Commission offering great guidance on all things pumper.

I mean, this thing even includes some of the things that are never really talked about, but are sort of pumper etiquette items that, if not handled properly can get you blackballed by other pumpers. It’s a must read.

So for you pumpers who find yourselves wondering why your gas well made zero even though your plunger seemed to be coming up all night, give it a read. It will help you with some possible causes. It includes everything from pencils to pumping units in there.

Through the next several blogs, I will be dragging some fun subjects out of that Lease Pumper’s Handbook and sharing some zany and I hope enjoyable stories with you that almost certainly would not have happened if we would have had the handbook.

Snap

So, this first story is about one of my pumping units with a Fairbanks 503 engine on it.

While there is a ton of great information in the Lease Pumper’s Handbook, this is one of the painful lessons I had to learn without a handbook. There are no individual instructions anywhere on how to run pumping unit engines. They are like women, I am told – all pretty temperamental if you don’t take some time with them.

The Fairbanks 503 is an ancient, slave master. It can be a terribly hearty engine though, that can take a lot of abuse and still run. And that is why it is still in the field today. But if you let it go down, even for one minute, you will live to rue the day.

Me in front of an old, Fairbanks 503 "slave master" ;-)
Me in front of an old, Fairbanks 503 “slave master” 😉

On this particular engine, the clutch to engage the pumping unit, once you have the engine good and going, is a round wheel about 12 or so inches in diameter. You have to grab that wheel and push the clutch plate straight forward away from your chest to engage this clutch. It can really test your manhood, especially when you’re a woman.

Most other clutches, such as on the Continental 106s and 96s as well as the Ajax, the clutch handle is just that; a long handle that sticks up where you can grab it and apply some leverage to the situation.

On this particular Fairbanks 503, the clutch was really tight. I mean this thing felt like you were trying to jab two inch pegs in one inch holes. One day, after fighting to start this bad girl for about 30 minutes, I finally got her going again and was pretty tired from physically kick starting that engine. (Did I mention how huge they are?) I walked around to the clutch wheel and gave it a shove. The pumping unit weights started going and all appeared ok, but I knew it wasn’t. I could smell the clutch plate burning.

I’m really tired, right? And so I put all of my upper body strength into this and give it a mighty shove. Nope. Sweat is pouring down my face. I’m starting to lose my religion. I’m getting frustrated. I try again. Still no dice.

So now I’ve worked for 30 minutes getting the stubborn engine started and now it won’t matter if I cannot get this clutch pushed in because I can’t just leave an engine running without running the pumping unit.

Now, I know all the men are thinking, “Geesh, this is why women shouldn’t be in the oil field.”

Well, you aren’t alone. Because that is what my boss said when I called him and politely asked (this was a new well to me) if there was anything special about this clutch that I should maybe know. I won’t tell you how that conversation went.

So I admit, I went a little crazy after I got off the phone with him. I ran around the outside of the entire pumping unit screaming and yelling , shaking my fists to the heavens.

I came back to the spot, looked around to make sure no one had seen my lapse in sanity and focused all my attention on that clutch. I then played around with it for about two more minutes just looking at it and feeling of it gently – you know, getting to know it. And then I saw it.

I realized that it wanted me to snap it in at just the right place where the weights were on their way up. I snapped it right in. It did have a secret to it and I had figured it out.

Fast forward four weeks later. My boss had gone by to place a new rocker arm on the external valve on that engine. He restarted it and stood there on the phone before engaging the unit talking to me. He was pretty satisfied with himself and was going on about how he was pretty muchly all that was man.

He had “only called to let you know what I had done on the pumping unit just so you could mark it in you book.”

I said, “Roger that. Consider it marked.”

A full hour later, he called me. He was out of breath and sounding pretty disgusted.

“Is there something you can tell me about this clutch?”, he asked.

I smiled to myself. “Nope, you’ll just have to man up.”

He never did get that clutch in. I had to go back and put it in for him.

Aka, Wench with a Wrench
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*PLEASE NOTE: 6% is the AVERAGE result of producers who implement the app into their operations..... which means a full HALF of our clients do better 🤑

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Get full production history, well files, commentary and the like in the hands of the people who need it (when they need it) and enable everyone in the field or office to do their best work.

Reduced Overhead

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Gain timely detection of equipment malfunctions or other operational issues and prevent costly breakdowns. With Greasebook, alert your in-house team to issues in the field wherever they're at.

Increased Production

Catch a hole in the tubing or an engine issue immediately when a well begins to slip (not several weeks later when your purchaser statements come in…) 💸 Greasebook is the next best thing to 'sitting shotgun' with each pumper on every route. And because you'll have complete visibility of your assets and your field crew, you'll not only avoid significant expenses associated with repairs and oversights but you'll also produce more oil because of it.

Timely Reports

Weekly, monthly, or missed reports simply don’t cut it. Why? Because longer reporting intervals increase the risk of inaccuracies and discrepancies in your production data, which not only erodes trust in the reported figures but also makes it challenging to analyze trends or forecast future production 📉 With Greasebook, eliminate any excuse NOT to have your production data.

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Gain full transparency of your folks in the field and eliminate boiler housed reports and ‘Kitchen Table Pumping’ for good 🍳

Focus

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Easily gather everything that matters. Track tank levels, capture notes, administer well tests, submit photos of scanned run tickets. All from the field. All on your mobile device. All over the cellular network.

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Get paid your due

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GreaseBook acts as your operations watchdog, surfacing any unexpected drops in production, unplanned downtime, or incompetence in the oilfield.

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Production data syncs across all pumpers who share the responsibility of a particular lease. That means no more calling, no more meeting up to trade-off books, and no more miscommunication.

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57000449
bbls pumped to date
50106001
MCF flowed to date

Simple 8-minute Ramp Up

Average time to learn? 8 minutes (and yes, this goes for those pumpers who are 75 years old still tending wells…)

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Select one of our premade reports or build your own.

Alarm Alerts

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Field Data Collection

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Comments

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Well Testing and Allocation Engine

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Downtime Tracker

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State & Government Auto-Report Filer

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Well History Files

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Pumper GPS Tracker

Wanna know how many times your pumper is showing up each month? When was the last time someone set foot on a particular lease? No more “he said, she said” – with GPS tracker, now you’ll know the full story.

Custom Variables

Track any variable at any lease no matter how obscure.

Custom Logic

Components of a production system don’t operate in a vacuum. We make complex math simple so you can focus on analysis NOT spreadsheet jockeying.

Partner/Investor Permissions

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Read-Only Permissions

Giving certain users the ability to ‘look but don’t touch’.

Privacy and security. Keep what’s private pri****.

Bring the most advanced security of any device to your operations. The GreaseBook comes with built-in protections against malware and viruses, and given our open API it gives you the freedom to choose what you share and how you share it. So no matter what you’re doing (or where you’re doing it), GreaseBook helps your private information stay that way.

(just a few of) the products we integrate with

GREASEBOOK INTEGRATIONS

“If you’re unsatisfied for any reason during your 6-week trial, we'll either work with you until it's right or refund 200% of what you paid for the app. How can we do this? We're just that good. But don't take it from me. Check out what our clients are saying below......"
Greg Archbald
Perpetual Student of the Oilfield
Founder of GreaseBook
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Ask us anything

F.A.Q.

Not really. Simply share with us your Excel reports, paper gauge sheets, or the login to your existing legacy production software and we’ll take care of the rest.

Our petroleum engineers turn-key your entire setup, we’ll reach out once we’re done. Bada bing.

You’re right. And, because no one leaves their house without their phone (and because our app works offline), we eliminate any excuse for your pumpers NOT to send you their data. See, we told you this would be easy.

In addition to both Android and Apple smartphones, the Greasebook also works on any tablet, laptop, or desktop.

While Greasebook has been implemented in many of the country’s largest publicly traded production companies operating thousands of wells, Greasebook is focused on serving the small and mid-sized independent US-based oil & gas operators.

Anywhere, anytime, on any device (phone, tablet, desktop or laptop).

The beauty of the app is once your pumpers start submitting their production via the Greasebook – anyone on your team can access production reports, graphs and well files from any device at any time.

It’s sorta like a centralized place from which everyone on your team can work, without all the calls, text messages and emails that would go on otherwise.

Absolutely. As your pumpers continue to add tickets, comments, pressures, well tests and any other relevant information, your investors will have guest access to as much (or as little) information as you’d like.

Of course, they’ll only see production info for the wells in which they participate.

Oil & gas companies who run Legacy oil and gas software systems expose themselves to major risks (and minor annoyances…)

The complexity of traditional oil & gas production systems is twofold:

  1. Software Problem: Legacy software systems are expensive, outdated, clunky and have extremely complex interfaces. In fact, because of all the support and manual interventions required, continuing to use outdated software can often be more costly than simply upgrading.
  2. People Problem: Legacy software systems take an enormous amount of time to familiarize oneself with. And, anytime an employee quits, retires, or is let go the amount of training required for new employees can be significantly higher than for newer, more user-friendly software.

 

This is a lose/lose. What’s more, given all the set-up fees, training fees, support fees and the like the projected ‘savings’ never materialize and now your forced to contend with fluctuating hydrocarbon prices AND a bloated monthly OPEX.

Talk about getting stuck in the muck!

With Greasebook, office users are 99% proficient with the platform in about 20 minutes.

Within 2 seconds – FROM YOUR SMARTPHONE – you’ll have your answer to any question regarding production, allocations, performance, well history files, commentary, run ticket reconciliation, Custom Reports, State reports, and more – all sliced and diced and customized at the Company, Operator, Battery, Well, State, County, Section, Township, Range, Acquisition, or even Supervisor level…

We’ve been at this for awhile. Greasebook was established in 2012 and now supports more than 400+ oil and gas operators (small ma & pops and publicly traded companies alike) across 20 States and is the fastest growing production software in the patch.

The Greasebook corporate outpost is proudly located in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 🤠📍

The Greasebook helpdesk is staffed by Petroleum Engineers, Geologists, and Completions Experts Monday through Friday, 8AM to 5PM CST. 

We have a real-time chat through which most questions are answered in 2 minutes or less.

Naturally, some questions are more complex and you’ll want to speak to someone over the phone. In this case, we aim to complete all callbacks within two hours of scheduling.👌

Of course, your Dashboard and Reports are available to you 24/7.

We don’t blame them.

Pumpers have been burned by Legacy Production Systems in the past. 😵

However, given how much upside you stand to gain in the form of time savings and profit, DO NOT make the mistake of letting the tail wag the dog, folks!! 💸

Real talk: the average pumper takes about 8 minutes to learn Greasebook (and that goes for guys in their 80s still tending wells…)

Give us two days and we’ll make believers out of your entire pumping crew….

Still not convinced? Check out Greasebook’s “Pumper Wall of Love” by clicking here and let the pumpers tell you themselves 😘

Let us help you help yourself. Simply send us your existing production info, and we’ll assign a production engineer to turn-key your entire setup for you.

We’ll build your wells, your tank straps, your users and anything else you require.

Finally, once everything has been reviewed by your team, we’ll roll out your pumpers and either train them for you or with you while you focus on more important stuff.

That’s not a question, but actually no.

The average pumper demands anywhere from $125 to $400 per month.

And depending on what you require, Greasebook is priced anywhere from $5-15 well/mo.

So, given how much more you’ll get out of your pumpers, how much we’ll streamline your operations, and how quickly we’ll get this all done for you, we’re actually kind of a bargain.

Our guarantee is two-pronged…

First, run the app for full 6 weeks in your operations. If you’re not completely satisfied, let us know and we’ll DOUBLE your money back.

Second, if for any reason you’d like your money back in first 30 days after paying simply let us know and it’s yours. 🤝

However, if you’re anything like our other 400+ operators you’ll be wondering why you didn’t do this 6 months ago…

We’re ready when you are. Take the quiz and schedule a call here – depending how many operators we have in front of you, there’s a chance we can get you up and running by the end of next week.

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